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(Opinion) Be A Brat, Not An Asshole

I was quite the spoiled brat. I have quite a temper, obviously inherited from my father, and I became very good at ordering everyone around. I was the princess; the staff were absolutely terrified of me. Lisa Marie Presley

There are pretty much three distinct “brat types” – Brats, SAMs, and Break Me’s. Brat’s are more playful and teasing to get what they want, while still accepting punishment for their actions (often not happy about it though). SAMs (Smart Ass Masochist) use their ability to push the envelope to get what they want (which is usually pain in some form). Break-me’s are the type that usually engage in CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) and push their Dom to the point of no control.


From most of my research and understanding, because once again I have never claimed to be an expert or the most knowledgeable, brats feed from the dynamic of being able to get their way from their Dom, but act out whenever that doesn’t happen. Acting out often leads to punishment of some sort, the act of punishment doesn’t matter though, it’s the attention that the brat was craving and ended up getting in some form or another. Being a brat can be fun for any submissive and a total pain for some Doms. The most important aspect of this dynamic is for the Dom AND sub to figure out how to outsmart the other.

SAMs are a whole different animal. They take bratting to the next level. It’s not done for attention. SAMs push the envelope for the impending pain that will come.. It’s a guarantee because they push their Dom until that point is reached and won’t stop until it comes to fruition. This dynamic can often be challenging to new or “fake” Doms. This is not your standard submissive that is excited and ready to serve you in every way you want. SAMs often get told they are “Topping From The Bottom” simply because they manipulate the dynamic to get what they wanted in the first place. This can be the situation, but, if your Dom knows exactly what is taking place, they can often outsmart and take the control back from a SAM.

Break-Me’s take it a step farther and get the Dom in such a state that they forcefully (and consensually) take what is theirs. CNC is a topic I haven’t covered yet, but you can find plenty of articles about CNC with a brief search. The goal of a Break-Me is to gain control of the outcome by getting their Dom to lose control. Break-Me’s are extreme in their measures, oftentimes, and will do whatever they need to to get the Dom to absolutely snap.

There’s a brief rundown of the three major (but not all) types of brats.


The main reason for this article came from some interactions with a few groups online. I was in a voice chat the other day, and the brat was “unleashed”. The “brat” in question proceeded to be very disrespectful to the others of the chat (muting random members while they were speaking, kicking people out, interrupting them, etc). These members 1) were not her Dominant and 2) had not given consent to be involved in the behavior. That’s a big no-no in almost any Kink community.

If being a brat is your kink that’s perfectly fine, just don’t drag me into it. If I want to participate I will let you know, but you still need my consent. Bratting in this manner is just being an asshole. Kink communities are beginning to shun brats and this type of behavior is why. I’m not telling you how to be a brat, but I am telling you that consent must still be given. I do want to point out that the brat on command trend is starting to feel like the fake disorders you see on various platforms now. Oftentimes, people that claim they have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and then proceed to switch between the alters like turning on a switch. That’s not how that Mental Disorder works. That’s also not how being a brat works, while it can be a conscious decision, it’s still brought on behaviors that are outside of your control. Simply asking permission to brat in a chat isn’t how that works. Stop being an asshole and thinking it’s cute.

I don’t expect every person to agree with this, but, I do expect every person to agree that consent is the most important part of Kink and any roles played.

If you and your Dom have a Dom/brat dynamic, that’s awesome. I love that it is something you love to have in your dynamic. I personally do not like brats in my dynamics. I don’t indulge in the tantrums and try to “get your way” type of play. I see no need for it when you are perfectly capable of communicating what you want and seeing how that goes. If you want to be spanked, ask for it. If you want a certain toy to be used, ask for it. It may not always be a yes, but, at least you committed to communicating with your partner.

I guess I just want to say, Don’t be an asshole to those that aren’t involved in your kink. It’s better to ask permission than forgiveness as well. I don’t have an issue with your kink and dynamic. I only have issues when you involve me without my consent. This isn’t to kinkshame anyone. I can respect your kinks. You can be a 100% disrespectful brat to your Dom whenever you want, if that’s how your dynamic works. I just ask that you do your best to be a good girl or good boy, whenever it’s involving people that aren’t in your dynamic. Courtesy doesn’t go out the window because you’re kinky.

I just wanted to rant about that but also provide some information as well.

Until Next Time,

Peace Out sub Scouts

Love, Jett

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